Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The air was thick with penises
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
