I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
