I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
