I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
