I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
