We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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