Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh god the rape fog is back!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
