Apparently you make a good broom.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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