I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
