Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
