Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
