Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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