the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
