Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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