i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
