8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
