U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
