apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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