So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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