Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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