I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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