College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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