You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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