everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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