the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
