i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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