its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My vagina is officially offended.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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