I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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