I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
