If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
