Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
