do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
