Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
