Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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