Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
