You made me cry and you don't even care
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
