I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize