you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
