I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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