4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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