I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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