Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
