The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
