i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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