I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
