love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
