You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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