i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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