i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
