So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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