Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
