Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
