You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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