question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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