yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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