Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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