Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
