"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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