How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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