So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize